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Supermoms
| Date: |
21 August 2005 12:00 |
| Producer: |
Bronwyn Nielsen
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| Show: | Carte Blanche |
Marilyn Chaplin (Human Resource Director, Didata): 'They talk about the 'Triple CCC Woman' these days, you know - you want your career, you want cash and you want your children.'
Christine Ramon (CEO Johnnic Holdings): 'Like any mother, I try to strike the balance between home and work life.'
Sam Cowan (radio presenter): 'That balance... I don't know who has it. I want to meet someone who actually feels they have it. I don't know if you do.'
Derek Watts (Carte Blanche presenter): 'Many women today are delaying their decision to have a child until their late twenties, late thirties and early forties. And while medically there may be the right time to have a baby, they are basing that decision more and more upon their careers.'
That's why today some women balance high powered corporate jobs with motherhood. Is this a new breed of 'super-mom'? This mum is currently fighting for the survival of her company, and her calm exterior conceals the stress she is facing at work.
Christine: 'The hostile takeover situation has really developed over the past few months. And every day there is really something new to deal with.'
Derek: 'Christine Ramon has been with Johnnic Holdings for more than ten years and during that time she has very successfully climbed up the corporate ladder, now to the top position of CEO. Three years ago this super career woman also became a mum with the birth of her daughter Isabella.'
Christine: 'So having her later in my life it certainly did prepare me to deal with the work pressure and so, when she came along... look, the work pressure doesn't lessen, it just gets more. But you are somehow prepared to handle it better.'
In order to balance their lives, the Ramon's decided to focus on Christine's career while her husband Maurizio takes care of all matters domestic.
Derek: 'Maurizio, is it difficult for you having to do most of the domestic work?'
Maurizio Ramon: 'No not really. I would say it is quite a simple job to do. Since we took the decision that one of us should have a flexible job that will help us to achieve balance in our lives.'
Early mornings are family time. It's Christine's turn to drop Isabella at school before heading off to the office and diving head on into meetings. Back at home Maurizio takes care of his business. Lunchtime, Maurizio collects Isabella from school and, if there is time, a quick turn at the gym. Meanwhile, Mum is still negotiating hard at the office. And at home Maurizio whips up a quick lunch and then a game in the garden. Hostile merger negotiations at bay, at least for today, and it's home for Christine to spend quality time with Isabella.
Derek: 'Have you read research that points to the fact that the formative years are up to maybe three or fours years old and that you could be missing out on the most important years of your daughter's life?'
Christine: 'I believe that I do spend quality time with her. As a family we are very jealous of our time together over the weekends and in the evenings.'
Andrea du Plessis is a practicing clinical psychologist and she did her thesis on balancing careers with motherhood.
Derek: 'What sort of marriage do you need to have a house husband?'
Andrea du Plessis (Clinical Psychologist): 'I think quite an open, honest, committed, very communicative relationship and a constant talking about it, because resentfulness can build on the other side too. A lot of women feel resentful because they stay at home; men can do the same.'
Radio presenter Sam Cowan is a relatively new mother and is very outspoken on balancing career with motherhood.
Sam: 'So I'm in a position where I've got the best child care that money can buy, I've got a really amazing supportive husband, who does also work flexible hours and can be at home when I can't. I think that... if you are the type of woman who can kiss your child goodbye in the morning and come home at five and spend a few hours' quality time and manage an entire business, and then also manage to be mommy, I think that is phenomenal.'
Derek: 'Marilyn Chaplin has been a career woman since her early twenties and is the only female director on the board of Dimension Data South Africa and she's in charge of the group's human resources. She's also the mother of Ross 15, Keith 11 and Katy 5.'
Marilyn: 'I've enjoyed having my children spread apart. It's enabled me to continue climbing the corporate ladder.'
Ross Chaplin: 'She's always made time to come out to my sporting events, like now, Hilton/Michaelhouse, she comes to all of those. She leaves important business meetings and she tries to put them aside just for me, special things like that.'
Derek: 'But when you were younger didn't you wish that she was at home there for you?'
Ross: 'I think at Kate's age it's very difficult for my mom and for her to understand that she goes away at least once every three weeks; eventually she will get used to it. I didn't find it so difficult because she didn't travel as much as she does now.'
Marilyn: 'I have found certainly on my younger children that they feel it when I have to travel and they don't like it. It's something that you have to really think about hard if you are going to take on a global worldwide job, to do that kind of travelling. I do believe that that impacts and they miss me when I am gone.'
Organisation and forward planning are important in the Chaplin household. Ross and Keith know that as mum is a senior executive at a global company, you simply can't forget leaving a tennis racket at home. Routine involves getting back from school, unpacking and re-packing for the next day before sitting down to homework.
Keith Chaplin: 'And I have to do everything - homework - by myself, which will get me ready for high school, for boarding school.'
Derek: 'Are you quite demanding of your children as a mother?'
Marilyn: 'I think I set very high standards for my children. It will be interesting to see what kind of person they land up marrying one day; whether they'll be as demanding as I am. When it comes to Kate, if she had to turn to me one day and ask for advice, I think I would tell her to follow a career. It doesn't have to be Superwoman, but keep your independence and there's a lot of enjoyment to be had out of a career.'
Derek: 'From the research that you have done, is there anything such as best practice when it comes to maternity leave and returning to the workplace?'
Marilyn: 'I think companies obviously need to ensure that they have the appropriate maternity policies in place. But for me the most important thing is to have the insight to understand that a woman, especially with a first child, is not always in a position to know exactly how she is going to respond and react. So, when they come back, to be sensitive and to have the kind of flexibility in your policies that allow them to perhaps take more of a part-time role or flexible hours. And that's what to me is critical, as well as looking at the services that you offer on site, and that is childcare services, etc.'
Derek (to Ross): 'When you are a bit older, will you marry a career woman?'
Ross: 'I definitely think so. It would be nice to marry someone with a second income.'
Keith: 'Maybe... I'll see in the future.'
Derek (to Andrea): 'What sort of personality do you need to go from boardroom meetings to home and singing nursery rhymes with your child?'
Andrea: 'I don't think it's about personality as much as about adjustment. Being okay with who I am. Being okay with making the self-sacrifices. From six to eight switch off; when the little one is asleep go back and think about the stock exchange or your meeting tomorrow. Two hours in a 24-hour day to switch off for something that is really quite meaningful for you is something that you can achieve. It's really about adjusting, sacrificing and getting the recognition from both worlds.'
Derek: 'Sam Cowan is used to rude awakenings, not just from her two-year-old son Christopher, but she gets up at four thirty every weekday morning to co-host Jo'burg's biggest breakfast show with Jeremy Mansfield.'
Sam (speaking into microphone): 'She says tint your eyebrows, go for it! So there!'
Jeremy Mansfield (radio presenter): 'Ja, we are not saying don't tint your eyebrows.'
Sam: 'Then what are you saying?'
Jeremy: 'We're not saying don't tint your eyebrows, we're just saying tint your eyebrows at least in the right colour.'
From big teddy bears in the morning to small teddy bears in the afternoon, Sam has had to find a way to juggle her time. She has just written a book called 'Waiting for Christopher'.
Derek: 'What is the reality now in terms of doing your job here and looking after Christopher?'
Sam: 'I'm in a lucky position in that I do have it all. I've got the job, which is a half-day job in terms of hours, even if not in terms of effort, with a full time salary. I can be home by eleven o'clock and be with my boy for the rest of the day.'
Derek: 'What was the impact on relationship, on your marriage?'
Sam: 'We accepted that our man-and-wife-ness was going to be put on hold while we were parents. But from accepting that, we worked out a relationship whereby the friendship almost took over for a while and then when we came back as man and wife it was stronger for it. Because it's hard to have a baby... it can rip you apart.'
Derek: 'Can we talk about sex?'
Sam: 'It's very difficult, once you've used your birth canal as a landing strip, to go back to using it for what you were using it for before. And when your breasts [are] doubling as a food source, it kind of feels wrong to have your husband caressing something that in an hour is going to be a drive-through. So it's very hard, it's weird. You have got to have a very good sense of humour to get past that. We did a lot of laughing before we did a lot of loving.'
Derek: 'According to Andrea's thesis mother's need to be able to make their own choices without the media, experts, policymakers, imposing their style of mothering.'
Andrea: 'Because once you make a decision to have a child, it's not just lets give it back after two months, it's forever. Not just for childhood, but for teenage-hood and adulthood. So when I think of super mom, I don't think of being super, and running around and being brilliant and super at everything. I think of being able to juggle the two, according to your world and making it work for you.'
Derek: 'Sam, is super-mom a myth?'
Sam: 'Yes. You cannot have it all, all the time. You can have it all some of the time. I know for me, I want to be the best mother I can be, but I also want to be the best radio presenter I can be, and when they come into conflict it is very hard. I don't think there is such a thing as the super-mom, career woman have it all. I think it is the long issue of doing your damndest and doing your best; and not actively burning your child or dropping it on its head; and loving him or her as much as you can; and doing as much as you can with what you have. Then that's as good as you can get. But no, I will never be able to say with confidence that I can wear my underpants on the outside of my jeans. I just don't think that you can.'
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER:While every attempt has been made to ensure this transcript or summary is accurate, Carte Blanche or its agents cannot be held liable for any claims arising out of inaccuracies caused by human error or electronic fault. This transcript was typed from a transcription recording unit and not from an original script, so due to the possibility of mishearing and the difficulty, in some cases, of identifying individual speakers, errors cannot be ruled out.
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